HOW TO OVERCOME PERFECTIONISM: Part 1

Most people would consider having high standards a good thing. Striving for excellence can show that you have a good work ethic and strength of character. High standards can also push you to reach your peak level of performance. For example, athletes often train long and hard to reach excellence in their sports. Perfectionism, on the other hand, involves a tendency to set standards that are so high that they either cannot be met, or are only met with great difficulty. Perfectionists tend to believe that anything short of perfection is horrible, and that even minor imperfections will lead to catastrophe. For example, most people believe it is important to try to do one’s best and not make mistakes. However, most people also believe that making mistakes from time to time is inevitable and that making a mistake does not mean they have failed something entirely.

However, adults with perfectionism tend to believe that they should never make mistakes and that making a mistake means they are a failure or a horrible person for disappointing others. Thinking like this makes it really scary for them to make mistakes. Trying to be perfect is also likely to make you feel stressed and maybe even disappointed with yourself much of time because you are not able to meet your standards easily or at all. Over time, you may even start to believe that you are not as capable as others. Therefore, it is worthwhile to consider loosening up your standards a bit to ease the stress and anxiety you may feel from trying so hard to be perfect.

Here are the Steps to Help You Overcome Perfectionism

Step 1: Learning to Recognize Perfectionism
This is an important first step, as it helps you to figure out whether you have a problem with perfectionism. Remember, there is nothing wrong with having high standards, but when these standards are too high, they can really get in the way of your work/school, relationships, and enjoyment of life. If you have trouble figuring out whether you have a problem with perfectionism, you might find answering the following questions helpful:
1. Do I have trouble meeting my own standards?
2. Do I often feel frustrated, depressed, anxious, or angry while trying to meet my standards?
3. Have I been told that my standards are too high?
4. Do my standards get in the way? For example, do they make it difficult for me to meet deadlines, finish a task, trust others, or do anything spontaneously?
Perfectionism affects how one thinks, behaves, and feels. If you have difficulties with perfectionism, the following examples may be familiar to you:

Examples of perfectionistic feelings:
Perfectionism can make you feel depressed, frustrated, anxious, and even angry, especially if you constantly criticize yourself for not doing a good enough job after spending a lot of time and effort on a task.

Examples of perfectionistic thinking:
1. Black-and-white thinking (e.g., “Anything less than perfection is a failure”, “If I need help from others, then I am weak”)
2. Catastrophic thinking (e.g., “If I make a mistake in front of my coworkers, I won’t be able to survive the humiliation”, “I can’t handle having someone being upset with me.”)

3. Probability overestimation (e.g., “Although I spent all night preparing for a presentation, I know I won’t do well”, “My boss will think I am lazy if I take a couple of sick days.”)

Should statements (e.g., “I should never make mistakes”, “I should never come across as nervous or anxious”, “I should always be able to predict problems before they occur.”)

Examples of perfectionistic behaviour:
Chronic procrastination, difficulty completing tasks, or giving up easily Overly cautious and thorough in tasks (e.g., spending 3 hours on a task that takes others 20 minutes to complete)

1. Excessive checking (e.g., spending 30 minutes looking over a brief email to your boss for possible spelling mistakes)

2. Constantly trying to improve things by re-doing them (e.g., rewriting a work document several times to make it “perfect”)

3. Agonizing over small details (e.g., what movie to rent)

4. Making elaborate “to do” lists (e.g., when to get up, brush teeth, shower, etc.)

5. Avoiding trying new things and risking making mistakes.

Continue from Part 2
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